APOLLYON'S BAD WRITING PROJECT

Let's not kid ourselves. We've all done it at some point. It doesn't matter who you are, or what your forte. You could be an accounting-geek who looks at words as the necessary evil which must be tolerated in order to get to the meat of the issue- -the numbers. You could be the creative writing grad-student, approbations from the poets laureate of 15 nations, and with six best-sellers percolating in your Word Processor. Whoever you are and whatever you believe yourself to be, we know you've done i t. You've indulged in horrendous writing.

To allow myself a blatant bit of bombast for a moment, you have now arrived. This is where we not only tolerate bad writing, we encourage it! Overwrought phraseology, ridiculously graphic (not to mention inaccurate) metaphor, plot ideas to make the strongest reader cringe, creative grammar with questionable stylistic merit . . . Lay it all out on screen here so everyone can laugh at you.


The Format

It's quite simple, really. We've all, at some point, played storytelling games. One person holds forth till (s)he is out of ideas, patience, or whatever else it requires to further build a story. The conch is then passed to the next in line. The story is thus continued to either a satisfactory conclusion or an utter waning of interest (usually, sad to say, the latter). The Bad-Writing-Project (tm) is not very different. The stories have been started. Read through them, and if you wish to sign on, use the sendmail at the end of the file (or send email to rebell@nyx.cs.du.edu) with your addition. It will then be checked for anything blatantly evil (something strongly encouraged, of course), then entered into the larger file for public consumption and universal trashing. Entries will be headed by contributor name(unless specifically requested?), so please don't write anything you wouldn't like to eventually be held responsible for. Needless to say, don't worry about inserting anything I wouldn't want to be held accountable for. I refuse to be held accountable for anything herein. I take all the credit, none of the blame (see disclaimer). I do, however, reserve the right to delete anything I dislike. Therefore, don't try to sabotage a story. While I don't believe in censorship, I do believe in taste. There's no need to keep it prudish, but I refuse to allow it to become a dumping ground for every 13-year-old's fantasies. If you can't deny your need for cheap porn, leave me alone and have some fun with rec.arts.erotica.

Back to Choices

The Dream

Would I allow it to be this simple? Not a chance! So far we've only discussed words. These are, of course, the most important part. All cliches aside, the fact is, you can't tell the story without words. On the other hand, I want to take advantage of the Project's existence on the Web. Whereas the written story remains the primary object, I welcome any submissions of anything that will further the cause. Though I'm not sure where I'll fit anything just yet, I'll make every effort to find space somewhere. Please, once the stories have become fleshed out somewhat, feel free to create illustrations, appropriate sounds and even mpeg files. We can link them all. If anything in your part of the text links well to something else; that's what the web is for! Let's get hypertext links all over the place! I love the idea of an interactive book and will do anything I can to make this into one. All ideas are encouraged, will be considered and will hopefully be included. Mail verbal suggestions, UUDECODED files or info on where to get them via through anonymous ftp here (or, if your browser is primitive, send email to rebell@nyx.cs.du.edu).

Back to Choices

The Disclaimer

As I said before, I refuse to take any blame for anything written for the Bad-Writing-Project (tm). Whereas I will act as editor, and will delete complete entries if I deem it necessary, this will only be done in the event of an entry that somehow harms the overall story. Continuity breaks, whole sections that consist of nothing but what some genius believes to be onomotopoetic funny noises or the like will be uniformly pulled, but nothing else. If a writer feels the need to publicly humiliate an acquaintance, spread vicious rumours or divulge state secrets, that doesn't interest me in the slightest. If it's relevant, if it helps the story (of course, as editor, only I may decide which virtues I seek in a story), it stays. For these items I take no responsibility. If you want to protest something written on The Project, take it up with the individual author (of course, anonymous postings all fall into my hands. I refuse to take responsibility for them, though. If you want something removed or altered, and it's been posted anonymously, take it up with me and we'll come to some sort of agreement. Just remember, I refuse any legal association unless my specific actions caused or worsened the situation).


So far we've discussed the possibility of negative results of The Project. Let's now get into the (however unlikely) eventuality of positive results. I realize that The-Bad-Writing-Project (tm) is a collaborative effort. I realize that many contributors may put an awful lot of work into their submissions. I also realize, however, that I am a greedy S.O.B. I'm providing the storage space for this silliness, I'm editing the whole thing, and I will probably find out in the near future just how much of my time something like this can take up. Consequently, if anything good should somehow come out of this little game, if this turns out to be publishable in some type of profit-earning format (tree-murder, for instance), it's all mine. I will gladly make some sort of bow towards those who help, but the fact remains, no credit (or other benefits) will be shared. This is your official notification. When it comes down to a question of ownership and legal rights (intellectual property as well as anything else), I retain them all. With the receipt of any submissions, it will be assumed that this disclaimer has been read and that all future rights to the work have been forfeited. Whatever ends up in The Project . . . It's mine, all mine! You hear me? It's MINE!!!


Enter The Bad Writing Project

Apollyon's Homepage

apollyon@mindvox.phantom.com