The Woodstock Polka

[special note:  Special thinks to Richard Handal for the Transcript]

I was going to jokingly suggest when posting this that someone else would
have to send in the Jack Leonard cartoon material, but TOMALHE actually
*did* that already! (Must be sale week at Ira Gallen's.) 

Richard Handal

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As seen on WNN August 11, 1995

Performed by a hippie-wigged, hair-banded Barry Mitchell, with footage
of the original Woodstock changing in the background, and sometimes going 
into twin screens, a la the original film's style of multiple images. 

WOODSTOCK POLKA -- to the tune of the World News Polka

Kevin introduces: ...26 years ago this week was Woodstock. 

(Spoken) Hey, man--bad karma got you down? Come on--let's Polka! 

Music peace and love and sex
Yuppies, Generation X
That's the Woodstock Polka

Traffic jams and camping greens
Automated bank machines
That's the Woodstock Polka

There's knick-knack and concession stands to meet your every need
A counter-culture love-in brought to you by corporate greed

(Backup singers)
Hey!

Watch your favorite band go on
Then stand in line to use the john
That's the Woodstock Polka

(Spoken) Sing out you hippies!

(Clarinet break)

(Spoken) Let's hear it! 

(Backup singers)
That's the Woodstock Polka

(Spoken) Good--concert promoters only!

(Clarinet break)

(Spoken) What is it?

(Backup singers)
That's the Woodstock Polka

The festival authorities help get you in the mood,

(Backup singers)
Who cares!

They'll bust you if you bring the kids or even your own food

(Backup singers)
What?

It's all tame, it's all wild
Come on every flowerchild
Do the Woodstock Polka

If you want to protest there's a very simple way
Watch it all on pay-per-view and then refuse to pay

(Backup singers)
Hey!

Now is now, then was then
You can't go back home again

(All)
That's the Woodstock Polka
Do the Woodstock Polka

(Sound of change hitting cup)
Gee, thanks, Dr. Leary

(A goofily smiling Barry begins to sink to the floor, while 
giving the peace sign.)


(c) 1995 Barry Mitchell Music