Subject: Aloha from Canada! (Message #1)
Date: September 6, 1996

Greetings friends!  This is Tony here, coming to you live and unedited 
from the fabulous West Edmonton Mall in Alberta.  It's Friday noon, and 
temperatures are in the single digits Celsius, although the other night 
in Yellowknife, there were no degrees.  The weather has actually been 
fairly nice as I wrap up my second week north of 49.

It's really amazing to ponder all the factions who want to dismantle this 
country.  You already know about the separatist movement in Quebec.  
There are other factions out here as well which give the distinct 
impression that they'd be better off in a different country.  Even the 
privatization efforts of various Conservative governments is having a 
disintegrating effect.  The venerable Canadian National Railway was only 
two years ago a Crown (government) corporation, and today it is 69% 
foreign owned.  The railroad is trying to dismantle several lines in 
northern Manitoba, including the famous Hudson Bay line to Churchill, 
which would leave many communities without surface access to the rest of 
the world.

I haven't had any personal incidents involving being perceived as a 
foreigner.  Even in remote northern areas, Americans are pretty much old 
hat.  I did, however, attract some attention in a Calgary restaurant last 
week by watching the Blue Jays game and cheering for the Twins.  (The 
Twins won, by the way.)

I began my journey in Winnipeg, the crossroads of Canada.  I was 
fortunate to be able to drop in on the policy convention of the 
vanquished Progressive Conservative Party.  The party, which won more 
than 200 seats as recently as 1984, was left with only two seats after 
the 1993 election.  I was able to discuss Canadian politics with a good 
many people who were pleased to have nowhere to go but up.  (It is a 
serious question how the party will fare in the next election, as the 
party at its Winnipeg convention moved to the left, leaving the right of 
the spectrum to the upstart right-wing Reform Party.)  Canadian politics 
is truly a more open and refreshing dialogue than we have in the states.  
Politicians and players are considerably more frank in both public and 
private discourse.  In the U.S., as you know, nearly everyone is seeking 
some higher office and is therefore afraid to offend anyone.  Canadian 
officeholders know that they are disposable and usually terminal, so have 
little incentive to hold back opinions.  It was still curious, however, 
to note that prominent officeholders have the same facility as their 
American counterparts to turn your question into their question.  I 
learned this when I asked a member of the Mulroney cabinet about the 
party's  stance on individual rights.  Withing a minute, we were instead 
discussing this minister's hypothesis that Marx would be a Conservative.  
It was a rather smothering convention experience, but a very good place 
to begin a political tour.

On a comfort note, Winnipeg is crawling with drunken vagrants, a problem 
we have not had in Minneapolis for many years.  It made me miss my tear 
gas (banned in Canada) all the more.  Canadians give a puzzled or fearful 
expression when I tell them that although I live in a very safe 
neighborhood, I never go out without my mace.  In my opinion, there's 
something wrong about a country where prostitution is legal but tear gas 
is not.

I next stayed in Regina (rhymes with angina), Saskatchewan's capital.  A 
politician in the province's socialist government was eager to tell me 
about a recent United Nations report which declared Canada the best 
country in the world to live in, and Saskatchewan the best place to live 
in Canada.  Regina is actually an urbane, very progressive city, which 
surprised me since it's about the same size as Green Bay, Wisconsin.  One 
thing I found odd was a nearly perverse spirit of preservation:  In about 
a half dozen places I saw, pieces of demolished buildings had been 
incorporated into the grounds and structures which replaced them.  There 
was even an 1890s bank archway incorporated into the city's downtown 
shopping mall.  Won $15 Canadian at roulette anyway.  Single zero!

Calgary proves to be an incredibly vibrant, progressive, fast-growing 
city.  Its downtown is on a scale with that of Chicago or San Francisco.  
Well, maybe not as big as San Francisco's.  The city seems to be growing 
much too fast, causing roadway, school, and other infrastructure 
problems.  It has surpassed Winnipeg and Vancouver to become Canada's 
third great city.  The people are very friendly and welcoming to their 
city's many visitors.

Although Calgary is Canada's oil center, Edmonton is closer to the actual
production areas.  As a result, gas prices are about 15c less per US
gallon in northern Alberta.  Some people find Edmonton quite boring --
they call it "Deadmonton."  Me, I find myself passing evenings here going
to movies -- and I never go to movies alone when at home.  (On a comical
note, I saw "Eraser" and "Mission:  Impossible" the same evening -- the
two have many of the same story ideas.)

I did have the opportunity to attend the Edmonton police graduation last 
week -- a very formal ceremony with bagpipes, drums, and an a capella 
police choir.  Right now I'm at one of the highlights of Edmonton - the 
West Edmonton Mall, from the same people who brought you Minneapolis's 
Mall of America (known to Minneapolis people as the Megamall or 
Megamess).  This is  a mall with a thyroid problem.  It started as a 
normal suburban mall.  Then it doubled in size with an addition that 
included an amusement park and a skating rink.  Then came Phase III, which 
more than doubled the mall again, this time including a waterpark, 
controversial dolphin shows, and a submarine.  The mall is an incredible 
spectacle, but I can't imagine coming here to shop.  Had the Megamall 
been built on this scale, I'd be far more inclined to bring my visiting 
guests there.

I took in the waterpark, which comes with a five acre wave pool, twenty 
waterslides, including the "Sky Screamer," with a six story nearly= 
vertical drop.  (Yes, twice.)  The waterpark is truly incredible, right 
down to its $30 admission fee.  (Cheaper at the end of the day)  I also 
visited the skating rink, and having grown up in northern Minnesota, I'm 
almost embarassed to admit it was my first time on ice.  Not a typical 
day at the mall!

Calgary and Edmonton both have peculiarities with their street numbering 
system.  Calgary started numbering its buildings from Centre Street with 
100 rather than 1, so an address of 1300 is at the 12th Street corner 
rather than 13th as one would expect.  Edmonton's meridian street and 
avenue are number 100 rather than 0, so instead of meeting at the corner 
of 2nd Avenue and 4th Street in the downtown area, you meet at 102nd and 
96th.  I never knew how attached I was to those four little 
abbreviations, NE, NW, SE, SW, until I tried navigating Edmonton.  You 
almost have to whip out that quadrille paper from high school math.  
("Let's see, we're at 94th St. and 102nd Ave., so that means that 
11422-96th Avenue is..., no wait a minute, ...")

Alberta is currently having a struggle with redistricting.  It seems that 
the idea of one-person, one-vote hasn't caught on in Canada.  Deviations 
of 25% are rather typical.  Canadian politicians I discussed it with were 
quite shocked to learn that the standard in the U.S. is 3 percent, and 
that Minnesota judges sliced neighborhoods apart in 1982 to get the 
state's Congressional districts within 36 people of each other.  The 
province's PC government is in no hurry to shift districts to the more 
Liberal and NDP (New Democratic Party) territory in Calgary and Edmonton.

Two media-related notes:  Just about every city here has a cheap tabloid 
newspaper full of screaming headlines and gory cover photos (not that I'm 
a consumer).  In the entire U.S., we have only a handful of such papers.  
And pornography, which in the U.S. has been restricted to porno shops, 
except for one or two publications available in regular outlets (not that 
I'm a consumer) is available in every bookstore and newstand in Canada, 
represented by at least a dozen titles.  Pretty weird.  Where's my tear 
gas, anyway?

Canadians seem to be following US politics.  They had an especially 
curious interest in the idea that Dole would pick his wife as his running 
mate.  Not gonna happen, I told them.  Not very many Canadians are aware 
that the President and Vice President are prohibited by law from 
traveling together.  People up here have the idea that the Clinton 
reelection is assured now, which doesn't bother them at all.  (Me either!)

My trip to the Northwest Territories this week was quite fascinating.  
Crossing the Mackenzie River by ferry was an experience to remember.  The 
road is closed for a time in the spring and fall when neither the ferry 
nor the ice bridge are accessible.   The NWT is actually a land of great 
tragedy.  There were four traffic fatalities over Labor Day weekend.  
Now, I hear you saying, "but look how many were killed in our area on the 
long weekend."  Yes, but the NWT has a population of only 50,000, and 
less than 25,000 of those live in the area accessible by road, making 
four a large death count indeed.  

Smoking seems to be rampant among the aboriginal peoples.  Fully 69% of 
the northern Indians smoke, and 74% of the Inuit (formerly Eskimos).  
Only 30% of the whites in the NWT smoke.  This gap forms a chasm beyond 
even that which we have with U.S. minorities.  This was hammered home to 
me especially when I bussed back to Edmonton with the Nicotine Queen of 
the Dogrib.  She was a Dogrib woman, must have been about 25, who got off 
the bus at every opportunity to smoke.  She even debussed a couple of 
times when the driver merely got off to pick up packages, lighting up, 
taking two long drags, and then putting it out with her fingers and 
reboarding.  After filling the bus in High Level, there were more people 
outside smoking at rest stops (almost all Native Canadian) than waiting 
inside the bus.  This in the face of $6 for a pack of cigarettes with a 
stark black and white label announcing "cigarettes can kill you."

Whatever you may have heard of Yellowknife, it is no longer a small 
town.  The city has many ten story buildings on its main street.  The 
city boasts a new capitol building for the territories.  The NWT is 
splitting in 1999.  The eastern 2/3 will be known as Nunavut ("our land" 
in Inuktitut) and will have an Inuit majority.  The western third is yet 
unnamed.  The smart money says it will continue to be known as the NWT.  
An election is coming up, and a group of wags are promoting "Bob" as the 
new name of the territory.  Me, I think this is a reaction to the 
political power that natives are getting as a result of the division.   
Yellowknife, known locally as YK (a confusing abbreviation, probably 
because the K represents a silent letter), is actually a nice place.  I 
think I might be back someday.  Prices in the stores weren't much higher 
than the rest of Canada, if at all.  I found it curious that a 
supermarket I used actually had higher prices than the convenience store 
down the street where I shopped the night before, even on such esoteric 
items as California lettuce.

A very common sight in YK would be quite PI in the states:  Fur is used 
everywhere.  Vistors to the new capitol are invited to sign the guest 
book -- spread open across a beaver pelt.  The Speaker of the assembly 
stands behind a polar bear rug.  Animal rights advocates don't seem to 
have arrived in the territories yet.

Finally, a lighter note.  I was able to put off laundry until I got to 
Yellowknife.  The bed & breakfast where I stayed charged $4.00 for 
laundry, which included soap.  That's less than $3 US, less than I pay to 
do laundry in my building.  

From now on, I'm doing my laundry in the Northwest Territories.


See you on the 'net!

Tony