Are aliens trying to take over nyx? Is the government reading our email? Are the dark overlords attempting to steal the very soul of nyx? Was that Elvis I saw logged in at 3am last week? We must have answers NOW before it's too late!
Nyxians unite! There are deep dark forces at work at nyx. Just as nyx was about to break free of its oppressor, the evil Burt has now appointed 3 hand picked overlords to continue his rein of terror. Attempting to reason with these puppets would be futile, for the evil Burt has poisoned their minds against all who fight for freedom and justice. And now that the evil one has slipped quietly behind the scenes, how will we know what dastardly deeds he is up to now? For he is a crafty one, should any lowly nyxian ever uncover his secret plans, surly they would fear for their lives.
Email, email, what is happening to our email! Why does email take so long to get through nyx sometimes? Since we all know nyx is a den of spiders and thieves, doesn’t it follow that the FBI and CIA would have their eyes on nyx? At this very moment, government agents could be reading your private messages and cracking your PGP keys. And this mysterious tiffany process, what is it really? Nyxians beware, big brother is watching your every move!
My fellow nyxians, be afraid, be very very afraid.