The Next Day
Maverick bit his lip as he stood uncomfortably with his lunch tray. "Are you sure it's okay? They're your friends. I'll be in the way."
I sighed and rubbed my elbow against Maverick's, keeping a grip on my own tray. "Yeah, they're my friends, so they'd better get used to seeing you with me." I gestured come-on with my head, and Maverick followed me to Larry's and Leo's table, smiling nervously.
I'd seen my friends watching me wide-eyed from the moment I'd entered the caf with Maverick. I set my tray on the table when I reached it and cleared my throat. "You guys haven't really had a chance to meet my roommate. I know you know who he is, but anyway, this is Maverick." I reached behind Maverick and stroked the small of his back as a gesture of intimacy. "Maverick, this is Larry," I gestured with my free hand at Larry, who gulped and nodded. "And this is Leo." Leo looked at Larry and responded with, "Uhhh, hi."
I pulled out a chair opposite Larry and sighed. I'd hoped to be able to sit on something today, but decided I was still at least a day away from that. I put my knees on the chair and sat back on my calf muscles, wincing as my heels brushed my butt. Maverick took a similar posture on the one remaining chair.
Maverick began hesitantly, looking back and forth between Larry and Leo, "Wynn talks about you guys all the..."
Larry cut him off. "Don't ever hurt him." His eyes were fixed on Maverick's in an unblinking glare. "I mean it!"
I could see the tension in Maverick, well-hidden but visible to me, go off the scale. Maverick's left hand, out of sight in his lap, clenched into a tight fist. I reached over quickly and covered Maverick's hand with my own, gently massaging it until it relaxed enough for me to entwine my fingers with his. My own heart was pounding as I began, "Larry, there's been a lot going on..."
Maverick shook his head slightly. "Wynn, it's okay. Let me." He looked back at Larry, seeming to search for words, finding them at last. "Both of you are really important to Wynn. So you're important to me too. I want us to be... friends." Maverick blinked at his own words, as if he'd somehow persuaded himself to say something impossibly intimate. He gave my hand a squeeze. "I've... been learning a lot. I just want you to give me a chance." He looked back and forth again. "Please?"
Larry opened his mouth to reply, and closed it again, seeming to be fascinated with the look on Maverick's face. He looked at Leo, who looked equally mesmerized. Leo turned to look at his roommate at last, and gave him a slight facial shrug. Turning back to Maverick, with an obvious attempt to find some neutral ground for a conversation, Leo said tentatively, "I've seen you from across the gym in your hanging class sometimes. Where did you learn to do that stuff?"
I could see the tension in Maverick start to swirl away as though a bathtub plug had been pulled. Hanging was something he could talk about. "I had a coach, but those moves I pretty much taught myself."
Larry blinked. "A coach? For how long?"
"I started practicing hanging when I was twelve."
Leo seemed to be getting hooked, forgetting the drama of minutes before. "Does an outside coach... I mean, is it like learning here?"
Maverick shook his head. "Not at the same level. You don't really get the kind of training anywhere else like they have here, and you can't find a lot of the books. I've been learning a lot."
Maverick suddenly realized Tavish, a First Year marten, was standing just at the edge of his vision, biting his lip nervously, his long ears drooping. Link, Tavish's roommate stood beside him. The hartebeest gave Tavish an encouraging nudge. Tavish cleared his throat. "Maverick, I was hoping you could... help me?"
I winced as Maverick squeezed my hand convulsively. Maverick responded cautiously, "Ummm... how?"
Tavish sighed and gave an I-feel-helpless gesture with his arms. "I guess you know I haven't really been keeping up with the hanging class. Most of the boys are doing three minutes at least in class now, and I've never even done two. My hanging grades are just killing my average and... well, of course, that's what we're all here for, anyway, and it's like I'm just not getting it! I'm in the bottom five, and our first party is coming up soon, and I'm... well, scared."
Maverick nodded. "I've seen you a few times. You know you don't turn your head enough, right? You've got to free up the carotids on nearly every turn, at least for an instant. In time with your heartbeat, of course."
Tavish sighed forlornly. "The teachers have said that a couple of times. I try to keep that in mind along with everything else, but somehow I'm just not doing it. There's just so much going on when I'm hanging, and I just get... confused."
Maverick bit his lip in thought, absorbed in the problem. His eyes flew open wide suddenly, and he turned to Larry. "Can we get charcoal dust here? Soot, anything like that?"
Larry blinked in astonishment. "Huh? I don't know. I guess the student store could order some. What does...?" He shook his head, mystified.
Maverick turned quickly back to Tavish. "You need something visible to give you a goal to shoot for. When you've got some charcoal dust, coat the inside of the noose in your room with it. All the way around, just kind of brush it on. Then do a practice hanging. Don't do anything different while you're hanging, just do it like you normally do." Maverick stood up in front of Tavish. "You'll get a black ring around your neck. It's going to be darkest and widest in the parts of your neck that have been bearing your weight and rubbing hardest against the rope..." Maverick reached up and around Tavish and touched the back of his neck with his fingers, letting them trace partway around toward the front, "...that'd be the back, and around to the sides, stopping below your ears. The dark part is probably going to stop about here." He held his fingers on either side of Tavish's neck, just behind the carotids. "See, that's not far enough. You're not getting the blood flow. You've got to work on getting the black smudge to cover up to about here..." Maverick brought his fingers a couple of inches farther forward. "You'll be able to tell at the end of each practice if you're making progress, because it's something you can see. Once you get there, you're going to feel the difference, and it'll start to feel natural. Your body will learn to tell you when you're falling short. Okay?"
Tavish's eyes had grown progressively wider as Maverick spoke. Now he clapped his hands once and threw his arms around Maverick, hugging him tightly. "I know that'll work. Thank you!" He whirled to face Link, grabbing his hand. "Let's go to the student store!" They ran together out of the caf.
Maverick stood frozen, not sure what to make of the departed Tavish's outburst of affectionate exuberance. He looked down at me, wide eyed. I grinned and reached up to rub Maverick's arm. "You'll get used to it."
Maverick gave me a short nod and knelt down on the chair again.
I turned to look at my friends, and burst out laughing. "I wish I had a camera! Just hold that look on your faces for a minute so I can remember it." I stopped laughing and sighed. "Okay, maybe we can start over now. Maverick, these are my best friends, Larry and Leo. Larry, Leo, this is my roommate, Maverick."
My two friends exchanged a look, and Leo reached across the table to cover one of Maverick's hands with his own. "Maverick, you understand why we'd be concerned. Right?" He lifted one eyebrow, and waited for Maverick's nod that came in a moment, then went on, "But for somebody that Wynn looks at the way he's been looking at you today, I'm sure we can get to be friends."
Leo looked back at Larry, who reached across and took Maverick's other hand. "Come over tonight, okay? We'll watch a movie or something."
Maverick started to nod, and stopped. "Can Wynn come too?"
Larry choked back a giggle and grinned. "Oh, we might let him in. But only if you promise he'll behave himself. He was really naughty the last time he was over." All four of us laughed.
Maverick and I were just pushing open the door to our room when Maverick said, "Wynn, wait a minute."
I could hear the tension returning to Maverick's voice. "What's wrong?"
Maverick shook his head. "Nothing's wrong, but I need to do something. I should do it myself, but I feel better when you're there."
I understood Maverick intended to do another of those things he had newly incorporated into his goal-oriented personal program. I hoped I was right, that those things will soon be more natural to Maverick. I don't think that he needs me to give a boost to his strength and willpower. That seemed like a reasonable explanation, but Maverick's got more than enough of those. And it doesn't seem as if he needs me to verify he's doing the right thing. He's not hesitating to do any of this stuff.
As fascinating as it was, the last day or so, to be in Maverick's company, I was struggling to understand why Maverick seemed to need me so much.
We hadn't been holding hands, or even walking particularly close together, but Maverick took my hand now in almost a death grip. I don't have a clue what's up, I thought, but it must be something big.
I had to walk quickly to avoid being yanked down the hallway, and stopped when Maverick did in front of Jack's and Eric's door. Maverick closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath, before giving the door a sharp rap with his free hand.
Eric opened the door, looking in my direction to begin with, and smiled. "Hi, Wynn. Jack's gone to class..." He froze and blinked when he saw Maverick was with me. "Oh, hi." He gave the remnants of his smile to Maverick, uncertainly.
In a perfectly normal voice, Maverick said, "Hi, Eric." I had to hold my breath — Maverick was almost crushing my hand. There, that's the reason I need to be along. Maverick is phenomenal at hiding whatever tension he might be feeling — more of that internal determination — but he needs help draining the tension off. That's me, I'm the drainpipe. Maverick went on, "Is Shaw here?"
I heard Shaw gasp. He appeared behind Eric's shoulder in a moment, though Eric made no move to get out of the way. Shaw was biting his lip, a look of distaste bordering on fear on his face. "What do you want?"
Maverick said quietly, "Shaw... I'm really sorry I kept... kind of getting on you all the time. I wasn't very fair to you, and... well, I'm sorry."
Shaw blinked several times, his eyes wide. "Oh, that's..." He stopped, seeming unready to give Maverick total absolution quite yet.
Maverick went on, "I should have told you, there's something you do better than any of the other boys when you're hanging. The way you arch your back and straighten your legs every few breaths, and point your feet straight down and wriggle your toes, like you're really desperate to try to reach something. All the boys do that, but they should be watching you to get a feeling for how to do it better. I started working that more into my own moves, so I kind of... owe you for that. Anyway, I could help you do some other moves better. If you want."
Shaw looked back and forth between Eric and me. I nodded encouragingly as if to tell him, Yes, this is for real.
Shaw looked back behind him, then back at Maverick, and stammered, "Well, I really, right now I'm..."
Maverick shook his head again. "Oh, I didn't mean right this minute. I have to get to class. Just whenever you feel like it. Let me know, okay? Or Wynn."
Shaw opened his mouth to respond, closed it and simply nodded.
Maverick smiled, one that looked nothing like the old, original Maverick's. "Okay, see you later."
Maverick held my hand tightly all the way back to our room, until, in privacy, he was able to put his arms around me and rest his head on my shoulder. Maverick's heart was pounding against my chest as I wrapped my arms around him. "Maverick, I'm getting a feeling that as long as I know you you'll never stop amazing me."
Maverick, his voice full of relief, said, "That night, when you said I've been wrecking the other boys, tearing their confidence down... well, I know I did most of it to Shaw. I... that was one of the promises I made. To the heads. That I'd fix things with Shaw."
I felt sure the heads in the Hall of Honor had all gotten an earful that night after I'd left. I stroked the back of Maverick's head. "You're doing great."
Maverick straightened up, smiling and brushing the tears off his cheeks. "Thank you."
It seemed very natural to kiss at that point.
Maverick broke it off and looked at his watch. "Let's get to class."
I sighed in the darkened room, on my side on the rollaway bed, Leo sleeping behind me with one arm draped over me, one hand cupping my butt. The evening had gone well. After we laughed together at the movie, I had persuaded Maverick to show Larry and Leo his latest hanging moves. My friends had never had the chance before to watch Maverick up close. I had stood back, smiling to myself, knowing how horny my friends were going to get.
I had expected to fall asleep quickly after making love with Leo, once Maverick's and Larry's play had quieted above us. Somehow sleep didn't come.
Maverick was in the bed above me, on his side facing the edge, Larry behind him, together making spoons. In the dim light from the window, I was surprised to see Maverick's open eyes, looking down at me.
At the moment I started to reach up to Maverick, his hand came down toward mine. Our hands met halfway, fingers twining together.
Maverick's eyes closed. In a few minutes I was asleep, Maverick still holding my hand.